вторник, 24 април 2012 г.

THE CRIMSON SANDS- JIMMY


Jimmy



Jimmy was running. The damp smell of rotting tree-bark and grass spelled death. They were hunting him down like a wild animal. Out of breath, he still could not help a smile. Jimmy had never seen a wild animal in his life.
The dim electric lights were reflected hundreds of feet above him in the Dome of Baddhaka. He was in the gardens now, right below the Citadel. Vegetation was grown here, protected by the multilayered glass from the magnetic storms and the poisons in the atmosphere.

It was but the tip of the iceberg. More than nine tenths of Baddhaka lay buried under the red soil, where fifteen thousand people struggled to make a living in this harsh wasteland of a planet. Access to the Dome gardens was a restricted luxury. Jimmy was trespassing.
He crossed a cobbled lane and hid behind a plastic arbour. He caught a whiff of roses in the stale air. Then there was the faint noise of footsteps. They were coming for him.
The huge cylinder of the Citadel used to be a com tower for a peaceful space agency. Over the course of the last decade it had been turned into the Chairman’s base of operations. Jimmy approached the tower’s reflection pool and drank quietly from the water.
Water was a thing of true importance in Badhhaka, along with weapons and the colour of your skin. Whites never set foot in Little Mexico. Blacks got the beating of a lifetime round the Dome or the outer quarters. They often found some unfortunate bastard depressurized outside a gate just for winding up in the wrong neighborhood. After the illusion of control over the colonies had completely disappeared ten years ago, this city had turned into a racist cesspool of crime, poverty and contempt where people were respected only for the number of kills they held to their name.
Jimmy was black. The whites never lay hand on him, though. He had the protection of their Chairman himself- Jimmy had been helping him fuel his drug network with humanitarian aid from the nearby city of Agrayaman. The Mexicas of Little Mexico did not bother him either because he provided them with medicine. The blacks mostly respected Jimmy because he stood up for them. He was keeping a desperate balance over the abyss and he knew the writing was on the wall. Finally, this morning, a deal went South and turned Jimmy into a persona non grata in the whole colony.

Colonies. More like huge prison camps, really. The whole purpose of humans coming to this piece of rock was fabricated over a simple and absurd concept those greedy CEO’s had managed to put together. If at any point in history there were a scientific breakthrough- let’s say a cold fusion engine- that could transport a huge chunk from the Asteroid Belt to Earth orbit where it could be safely developed, a corporation would want to own the first outpost close enough to the Belt to explore, chart and beat the competition. Of course, Mars was the obvious pick. It was a “We-don’t-know-if-we’d-ever-use-this-but-we’d-like-to-be-there- first-just-to-expand-our-options” type of concept. The world had come to see corporations commissioning governments in stead of the other way round. India had the best bid.
While everyone else was racing to harvest the Moon’s lush energy and water potential, India made it to Mars with three hundred men and women aboard four ships. They built the Dome of Agrayaman and went on to expand into the other outposts- Venya Parvata and Baddhaka. For a while nobody cared. Two scientists- an Englishman and a Sikh- discovered something extraordinary on one of their probe drills. There was no life on Mars. But there had been.
Tiny micro organisms had thrived in the rigid atmosphere for millions of years and then- just like that- gone extinct. Buried under the ever-shifting Martian soil and sand and transformed by pressure and time their remains had formed enormous and appetizing deposits of the purest petrol. Alien petrol.
Of course the presence of oil fifty-five million kilometres from the nearest gas station had no immediate impact on interplanetary space travel and commerce. But the discovery showed the Martian colonies had the potential to grow in confident self- sufficiency, to produce what they need solely by harvesting their own resources. All they needed was people and people were what Earth had in excess.

There was no wind on the citadel roof. The weather simulator had broken down months ago and there was no one who still remembered how to fix it. Now the days were hot and wet but come nightfall cold took over with devastating winds that howled through the corridors and bridges of the whole city. There were no more bums loitering around the Dome- they were all found stiff dead with icicles hanging from their noses. Jimmy remembered seeing one of them- his eyes had popped like frozen eggshells with the first rays of morning.
He could see the whole park from here. Neatly designed shrubs formed the silhouettes of four elephants round the corners. Red cobbles formed a sign in an unknown script in the alleyways. Jimmy knew it was Sanskrit for “Life has no end.” Jimmy knew the reflection pool in the middle symbolized a great tortoise that was said to have borne the homeworld upon its massive shell. The founders of this settlement had an image of a bright future on this planet. Things seldom work out the way we want them to.

Millions of immigrants crowded the space agencies of old Earth. Even the newly formed Mexica Confederacy had a launch site established in Yucatan. As they flooded the cities of Mars the Hispanics dug out their own neighbourhoods and named them New Mexico even though there were people among them from anywhere between Arizona and Venezuela.
The American government bought off all the shares of the space-faring Indians- a decision that drained too much of their financial resources and ultimately led to the secession of the South West. It later joined the ranks of the Mexica Confederacy after a bloody and relentless Civil War. The world saw the abrupt end of Mumbai’s program of scientific interest, a vision of wisdom and peace for the human race. The Indians on Mars and their supporters called themselves “the Harapan” and fled deep under their own cities, driven down alongside their drills into the least desirable realm of eternal darkness and the noxious smell of alien oil. If anyone was inconsiderate enough to venture into their dwelling- space they did not return to tell of their journey.

The pinnacle of the glass Dome was but a few feet over his head now. There was a small metal ladder leading to an invisible hatch. Jimmy knew for a fact there was a set of fifteen well-preserved External Habitat Suits beyond that hatch. His plan was to slip one on and take his chances outside, in the hope of reaching the docks on the cliff-side five miles out. If his oxygen supply was enough he would be able to stowaway on a freighter to Venya Parvata.
He was halfway up the ladder when he noticed the black man with the gun. His hair was trimmed short and a line over his left temple was shaved clean- the recognition mark of his gang. Silver earrings adorned his ears.

“Hello, Jimmy.”, said the armed man.
Jimmy froze for a second and then he said with a dry mouth:
“How’s it hangin’, Leroy?”
“That’s not my name anymore, man. You know that.”
“Oh, yeah, my bad. You’re Abdul Said now, aren’t you? Tell me, Abdul- are you really going to shoot me?”
Abdul stepped ever closer:
“You betrayed us, Jimmy. You sold us out!”
“Your boss is the actual traitor here.”
“Do not speak of Mustafa Ali this way! He did so much for our community.”
“Of course. He gave a few youngsters like you selected readings of the Koran and handed you weapons.”
“We had to protect ourselves.”
“Don’t you see? Nobody gives a shit about you! Or me... We’re all dogs set against one another, set to kill each other, till there’s nobody left. Mustafa Ali and the Chairman are using this race thing to their own ends and the Mexicas are no different. It’s all about energy and oxygen supply, man. You know how much oxygen is required to support a living human being every day?”
“No. How much?”
“A lot more than a dead one.”
Jimmy went for the glass hatch above him; Abdul stepped forward and cocked his pistol:
“Don’t even think about it.”

Jimmy only laughed and climbed up the ladder. The pistol went off and his right kneecap exploded in a cloud of bone and blood. Shrieking, Jimmy fell back down to the rooftop in a puddle of blood.
“God damn it!” he screamed and tears of pain glistened in his eyes. “They brainwashed you good.”
Abdul crouched over him:
“Why did you betray us, Jimmy? The Chairman gave you that morphine for us. We were going to give you many batteries for it, freshly charged. You had to go on and just give it for free to the Mexicas.
“They had kids, damn it. Sick kids, Abdul!”
“There are sick black kids as well, man. Besides, what use is the morphine to them? They’re all dead anyway.”
“But they were dying in great pain.”
“Well, since it’s so honourable to save a dead man his suffering…” said Abdul and pressed the barrel of his weapon against Jimmy’s forehead.” Goodbye, old friend.”

Jimmy desperately clang on to that last word:
“That’s right! I am your friend. That’s why they sent you to find me and you did. We grew up together, man- back on the leaper that got us to this God- forsaken piece of rock.”
The Muslim paused; then he tucked his pistol away with a sigh and shook his head:
“We are still friends. But my name is Abdul now. Do not speak. I must think of a way to hide you.”


Jimmy was only ten when he got on the leaper ship and was well into his puberty when he arrived in Mars orbit. By that time he and Leroy were already best friends. They often spoke of all those infants born on board who had to stay behind because their spine and their muscles could never survive the descent. There must have been hundreds of them. Sky Children, they called them. Jimmy thought about those children a lot while he was growing up and sought out their shiny stations in the night sky aided by the telescopes at the Observatory while it was still operational. His mother used to work there. She was the last of the scientists.
“I buried her two years ago, right?” said One-eye Rodriguez and took another photo. “I remember well.”
Jimmy shook his head. One-eye was the most notorious, stinking sewer-rat of a lowlife in the whole city. He used to be a rover driver until a rushed decompression cost him his eye. He was now the one to haul full body bags out of the city, right up to the docks and throw them off the cliff and into the black abyss. In some kind of tribute to the tombstones back on Earth he stapled Polaroids to the vinyl.
“Not that anyone is going to recognize them in the darkness.” he would say and his thin lips would stretch into an ugly smile. “But it soothes the soul, hermanito.”
Jimmy was assigning all his slush fund credits to a girl from Agrayaman he used to date. There was not much else to put in order so he cleaned his email inbox and closed all his accounts. He hated leaving unfinished business.
“It’s time”, said Abdul.
Jimmy knew there was no point in begging. The Baddhaka Muslims cared too much about honor and justice as twisted as it might be. They were absolutely loyal to their leaders.
Rodriguez giggled.
“Get out!”- hissed Abdul. Jimmy helped himself up with a crutch. The caretaker of Baddhaka went out and closed the hatch behind him.

Abdul made sure One-eye had gone and lowered his pistol with a smile:
“Finally! I thought he’d never leave us.”
Jimmy made an effort to open his sticky lips:
“What?”
“Believe it or not, I got some Harapan fellas owe me big. They promised to take you in until this whole thing blows over. I bet you’d be as blind as a mole by the time you get out but at least you’d be alive.”
“What?”
“You have my word. I’ll try to get you access to some transport as soon as I can. But right now we must go.”
Jimmy could not conceal his lack of trust. Abdul shrugged, pulled out his pistol and released the magazine. The bullets clacked on the floor one by one.
“I’m truly sorry about the knee. They would not have let me take you out of the Dome gardens any other way.”
They laughed a nervous laugh for quite some time. Jimmy embraced his friend and went for an open hatch. As he limped down with the help of his crutch Jimmy smiled over his shoulder:
“Honestly, Abdul, you had me fooled there…”
Abdul took aim and squeezed the trigger. The single bullet left in the chamber went through the back of Jimmy’s head. The breathless body fell to the ground with a gooey sound.
Abdul stood there expressionless.

“Let me axe you something, vato” said Rodriguez as he was unfolding a vinyl bag with a shoulder against the door. “You have no friends down there with them vaqueros, do ya?”
“I have no friends. Not anymore.”
“Least he went happy. Some consider that mercy.”
One-eye giggled, took a machete from his belt and chopped off what used to be Jimmy’s hand at the wrist. He took the gold watch and wiped off the blood with a piece of cloth.
“What in hell are you doing?” cried out Abdul.
“What? Sorry, did you want it?”
The Muslim just shook his head. He kneeled and tore off a thin leather band from Jimmy’s neck. There was a wooden cross hanging on it, protected by a glass locket.
“That’s a nice trophy. Wood. Way more valuable than gold.”
Abdul failed to answer. He put the crucifix away and phoned in to report the job done.
He returned to his room in the slums. Through the miniature window he could see the hexes of the docks, as if set ablaze by the bronze rays of the setting sun. Beyond them lay and endless crimson desert.
He sat on the bed for a few moments and out of a sudden rushed out to the revolting bathroom.
He threw up for a long time, and then he wept and he prayed.
He longed for a shower but he could not afford the water.



събота, 31 март 2012 г.

The Rules of Attraction



So, there I was, sitting in one of those not too- comfortable, and yet desirable chairs, sipping on the cheapest beer I could find in a joint such as the Faces Club, owned by, what it seemed, someone with a little bit of too much self- confidence, for if one compared the prices to the interior, the first thing they would probably do, is call the authorities.
My high school buddy and college roommate, Richie was organizing a hip hop and R’n’B party and I had to attend, though I did not rеally feel like it. As a matter of fact, Richie told me that if I wanted to live, I had better come. Of course, the guys from my neighborhood were all there as well, so at least I felt in ‘friendly waters’. Apart from the guard and a few waitresses, we had the club to ourselves. We were having toasts and people were shouting out things like ‘cheers!’ and ‘who’s not drinking?’, bottles rang and glasses clang. The party was not even officially announced open yet.
However, I was just not in the mood. It was my first night in town for the last few weeks, and all I wanted to do was see my best friend Bianca and I had to actually drag her with me to the party, just to get to talk to her. She did not want to be there and I felt bad for making her come. Plus, my friends all thought she was my girl and I was ignoring them because of her. They had good reason for it for I have kissed and caressed her more than a couple of times, but we have always remained good friends.
Bianca told me it was not my fault she was blue, a friend of hers was falling for the bartender of the ‘Tequila’ and Bianca just felt bad for deserting her there. The beer kicked in, somebody cracked a few jokes about the grammatical errors of the signs on the wall, and things started to look better.
Richie was behind the deck. He took the microphone and told us the party was on. He opened with the theme from ‘SWAT’. I looked around. Out of fifty people, I knew everyone, and more were coming. I realized I did not despise small towns as much as I had thought.
Then someone said Mary was coming.
Mary had been my high- school love. What started as a recess joke- around grew into an unequal affectionate relationship where I was the weak one. Looking at things from a current perspective, I see that she did not like me. She liked the power she had over me. She knew I was crazy about her and demonstrated her superiority in every way that she could.
After graduation our paths parted. Not once did she call me, or even write me a letter of simple recollection. I spent a year in the depths of depression. I spent another recovering. Lying in my bed every lonely night, pondering over my mental sufferings, I blamed her for everything. Then I blamed myself. One morning I saw that it was actually nobody’s fault. That was that. I decided to go on with my life.
She was going to come tonight and I knew I still had a soft spot for her.
While we were sitting down, talking about Bianca’s friend and the bartender, Mary approached us with a group of mutual acquaintances, who I spent a lot of nights partying with in my day and right now could not care less about.
Well, I shook their hands, and when Mary’s turn came, instead of a greeting she squeaked in her high- pitched, imperative voice:
‘You’ve had a haircut.’
‘Yeah, nice to see you too. How are you?’
She did not answer, so I turned my back on her.
Throughout the next thirty minutes or so, I drank, cuttled and talked with Bianca, went up to the DJ’s corner to check on Richie and ask for a specific song and greeted old friends. You could say I was on top of the world right there and then.
After a while the number of people in the club started to really swell up. Mary came to me and pricked me on the shoulder as I was trying to get my glass of rum safely across the crowded dance floor.
‘Could you ask Richie if he has that song with R Kelly and the girl- singer?..’
‘Let’s see’, I replied and looked down at my T- Shirt. ‘Ah, I’m sorry, I don’t see the word ‘Bellboy’ written anywhere here!’
I shrugged, smiled and went away. Maybe she deserved it, maybe she did not. The fact is, she came up to me again after a while:
‘Are you mad at me, or something?’
‘No, no.’ I said. It was the truth. I had been mad, but was not anymore. ‘It’s just that twenty people or so have been asking me to talk to Richie. He’s right over there, you know.’
I carried on with the fun, while she sat in a gloomy corner, surrounded by her royal entourage. In the mean time, Bianca’s friend arrived and said that the ‘Tequila’ bartender was not worth it. So we sat at Mary’s table and I kissed and hugged Bianca and that was what I wanted to do the whole night long.
Then came Nixon, a very good friend, drunk as a drowning donkey, for his pro- abstinence girlfriend had stayed behind in Sofia. While he was talking to Bianca, Mary pricked me on the shoulder one more time.
‘Is there some kind of a game going on around here?’
‘Yeah, I think so, but you have to ask Richie for the rules. The reward is a very nice CD’
‘No, I mean are you playing some kind of a game?’
‘You mean like a Nintendo thing?’
‘No, I mean your personal life’
Of course there was a game, and it was called ‘Play dumb. See what happens.’
‘Everything’s a game’, I cried out to overcome the music, ‘And we’re merely players. I think Shakespeare said it. Wherever you look, in every aspect of human society, what matters is not what things are, but what they look like.’
‘Whatever. Just know that she’s a very dull little girl.’
‘Are we talking about Bianca here?’
Mary nodded. It all made sense. You see two people happy together, you try your best to ruin that. A completely normal human reaction. But to call the smartest girl I know dull!
‘What’s it to you?’
‘Nothing. Just to let you know, that’s all.’
‘Yeah,’ I thought. ‘We all know how much you care about my well- being’
‘And how about yourself,’ I said after a while, ‘How’s life treating you?’
‘Oh, not so good. All studying and no time for sex at all.’
Later, I found out she had a boyfriend in Sofia. She tried to provoke me and succeeded. But she could not shock me and catch me off balance.
‘You know,’ I smiled, ‘We’re friends, right? What are friends for? I bet I can help you with that.’
‘You can, huh?’
‘Call me while you’re in town. We’ll work something out.’
It was all about superiority. She wanted to be in control once more. I just turned my back on her and left her wondering whether I’d been just joking around or not.
A couple of hours went by. Richie was as happy as a ten- year old with a jawbreaker at a baseball game. Bianca eventually went back to ‘Tequila’ with her friend. I started dancing with Nixon and we did not stop for several songs. We were like acrobats and did all kinds of funny moves. That was what I liked about Nixon. He did not care about the others. The whole club looked at us and clapped with the beat.
Mary came up to me one more time.
‘I’ll call you every month.’
I laughed. She hated not being the strong one. She just came up with lines to see my reaction. She expected me to fall down to my knees as I had done so many times before.
‘Don’t you want to first try the merchandise before you subscribe?’
I do not know why I felt the way I felt. Probably because I was surrounded by so many friends that relied on me. Probably because it was my man who was playing the music. Probably it was the girl I was ready to tear the world apart for three years ago, and now just toyed with. I felt like the puppeteer of puppeteers, the king of the moment. I had paved my path up to Vengeance Peak, I knew now I could humiliate her and have her do what I want, I could torture her like she did me.
After a few other drunk adventures, including a brawl with that loser, the ‘Tequila’ bartender, I got home with the walls shaking around me, my legs hurting, my ears hissing. But I sobered up quickly after I looked in the mirror and saw my eyes. Yes, revenge was sweet, but too many sweets can blind you. I remembered Ahab, the count of Monte Christo, Frankenstein and all those who blindly chased an obsession, losing their souls in the process. And I prayed for the strength to refuse the temptation of vengeance.

I did not have to find out if I had it in me, because she never called.

Poems


Of Power


Soldiers. Weapons and armour. And shields
Death is the only thing that they yield
When it seems you're fighting for kin and for land
Know that behind you stands golden sand
Money. It's funny- just like gallons of honey
It's made by million bees who never stop running
None of them wants to be a bee, but a drone
In the end left alone with a heart made of stone
Fame. Who is to blame for wanting their name
Written in platinum, blood or in shame?
When we turn to ashes and our casket is rotten
Good deeds will, bad ones won't be forgotten
Glory. I'm sorry- it's and illusion
Representing the fruits of global confusion
People put people on top so they won't
Have to put up with what everyone wants
Brains? PLEASE- who needs it when you've got hate
If it's so fun to destroy, why bother create?
Since hate is so near to fear, nobody would interfere
No one would stay in the place of a foreign race, they won't shed a tear
Success? It won't make you less depressed
If that's what you think. You'd get eaten by the press
And controlled by those with money and power
The person you were would soon get devoured
Power? It's like a car engine with brains- wicked and cunning
Put oil in it and it will never stop running
And mothers will cry, And soldiers would die in the name
Of People with brains who promised them money, glory and fame

Conversation

There he sat in silence, combing his hair, smiling and ready to attack
Watching me with confidence which I at the moment just seemed to lack
He took deep breaths and blew them at me smelly and fast
A shiver appeared to take over me as if a train was running past
The distance between us would shrink like water on ice
And I couldn't help feeling that I had just thrown the most dreadful of deadliest dice
His eyes were as green as the stickiest swamp on the planet
Once I had power of will but now they just overran it
He promised me things which, as he said, anyone would kill to have
And all my beliefs would simply melt and still seem more than enough
The idea of good and of evil, and of their conflict would seem like a joke
And I felt a scalpel run through me with every word of reveal that he spoke
Suddenly I felt on top of things, strong and ready and smart
I saw I could begin my life with a fresh, never- ending, diabolical start
Where compassion and love were but words in a dictionary and grief was more than unneeded
With no obligations and moral restraints and no promises that had to be heeded
Next we laughed with one single voice, he took out and lit a cigarette
I felt my lungs fill up with that smoke and I felt like an illiterate
He wanted my soul and not my friendship, he needed my heart and my mind
And then I saw those thousands of millions whom he was behind
I stood up in rage, it was what he wanted: my anger and my remorse
He stood up also, his chair aside, a tension between us arose
He said "Behold me, I am the Devil! Embrace me, friend, please come nearer!"
I hit him hard and all I could see were my blood and the broken pieces of mirror.

*******

He wakes up after a night out. Splitting pain
Cobbles. Road. Sidewalk. Town square, over it- slight rain
He starts walking. His limbs hurt, he's with a hangover
A passing car showers him and he's wet all over,
He's got blood on his knuckles. It's not his
But the torn shirt on his back most probably is
What exactly has he been drinking
Street- fighting, what'd he been thinking?
The city breathes round him like an awakening dragon
With people speaking low in an unfamiliar, hostile jargon
His name- doesn't remember. His address- why bother?
He must have a wife, a father, a mother?
They all walk past him, he tries to catch someone's eye
He's got the strange feeling they would rather die
He's got "Misery" written all over his face now

************



By The Station

The Newspaper- vendor is old, he's out of tobbacco
His hair is long past its last year's trim
With so many things he's got a lack of
He no longer cares that his face is too grim
The Newspaper-vendor is old, he has seven kids
They all want to help but they're out of their jobs
He is forced to await any stranger's bids
Since he does not want them to beg or to rob
The newspaper- vendor is old, his saga continues
With each day as grey and as dark as the last
Where the city's a dungeon and people- its minions
He is strapped to his work like Odyssius to his mast
He walks by the station, he shouts and announces
His only merchandise, which is written words
None of the passengers that are waiting around is
Willing to listen to what he refers to
I stand there too, silent and leaning
On the station's wall, observing the man
And I wonder whether he's still believing
As he looks down and says "Dear God" again and again
The Newspaper- vendor is old, his kind's at extinction
But they still exist in towns, cities, resorts
Bearing society's unspoken conviction
Shouting out,
"Crosswords, news, and some sports!"


Hanging off the Ceiling

As I spoke to Death she complained
Of people, as she explained
Who feared her merely because she kept dearly
Her profession and the name she maintained
She said, "I feel hollow inside
"But those who abide
"In the world of the living are so unforgiving
"That they do not care about my tortures of mind
"Do they not see that I am the portal",
She said, "To being immortal?
"I would gladly retire, but there's no one to hire
"For my service is so much important
"Now if it just wasn't for me
"They would live eternally
"The world would be full of old rotten fools
"And crowded they would barely breathe!"
I said, " You are right
But, just in spite
Why do you take the infants and youngsters
Whom you sink into darkness when they've just seen the light?"
"When you are starving", she said
"Would you pick your bread?
"Would you ask your dinner if it had been a sinner?"
"You forget," I countered, "My dinner is already dead."
Death fell into silence after my line
"Do your worst!", I shouted, she shouted "Fine!"
She spoke once more as the rope tore and I fell to the floor
With the noose round my neck, "It is not yet your time"
**********